


So it's a Thing

by Defnotmeyo



Category: The X-Files
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-17
Updated: 2017-03-17
Packaged: 2018-10-06 21:15:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 718
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10344699
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Defnotmeyo/pseuds/Defnotmeyo
Summary: Mulder being Mulder, the Friday before MLK day weekend, the year 2000.  Written for the Tumblr dialogue challenge.





	

“So uh, what are you up to tonight, Scully?”

“Well… There’s an article in one of this week’s JAMAs that I keep meaning to read but I haven’t had a chance to sit down and really sink my teeth into it yet.”

“This week’s JAMA?”

“Yes, Mulder. This week’s. Why?”

“Scully! Do you mean to tell me you’ve been chomping at the bit to read about Orgasm Technology, the Vibrator, and Women’s Sexual Satisfaction?”

“Tell me you’re not using my JAMA articles when you’re in the bathroom, Mulder. And anyway. No. There’s an article in this edition about prepping our health care facilities in the event of a major biological or chemical terrorist attack. Which I would think, given the string of apocalyptic zombie corpses we’ve managed to stumble across lately, you would be much more interested in.” 

“Yeck. I could do without the word zombies for at least a week. And seriously? It’s Friday. It’s a three day weekend. The least you could do is read page 171. Live a little.”

“Do I even want to… Really, Mulder. How to Have Your First Mammogram? Once more, if I find out that journal has been anywhere but my coffee table... Forget it, I don’t even want to think about it. What are you doing tonight?”

“I was thinking about hitting up Hank’s again.”

“Hank’s? That the place with Jake the Bartender?”

“Yeah. Jake was on last night, actually.”

“Mulder, you go to Hank’s twice a week.”

“WE go. At least once, yeah. And I mean I kinda thought…”

“…”

“…”

“Thought what, Mulder?”

“Well I mean, it’s FRIDAY, Scully. It’s a three-day weekend. I dunno, I guess I kinda thought you might want to hang out tonight.”

“We hang out most nights Mulder.”

“Jake asked about you last night.”

“Jake who?”

“Jesus, Scully! Jake the Bartender.”

“Oh. Okay.”

“Well…”

“Well what?”

“Aren’t you curious what he asked me about?”

“Not really but you’re obviously dying to tell me so… Go on, Mulder? What did Jake ask you?”

“Well, first he pointed out your more uh… well…”

“Mulder. You were dying to tell me not three seconds ago.”

“Well Jake was pointing out – complementing really – you on a few of your more uh, phys-uh, physical… physical characteristics.”

“Oooo-kay. Thanks, Jake?”

“Thanks, Jake?”

“Sure? I mean I don’t know what you want me to say here Mulder.”

“Well. Jake’s a good-looking guy.”

“Yes. Yes you’re right. Jake the Bartender IS a good-looking guy.”

“Well.”

“Alright Mulder. Let’s have it.”

“Well I mean. I’m just saying. I guess you know… I mean he wanted to know if we were a thing and I kinda…”

“You shrugged.”

“Yeah I guess I kinda shrugged and so he uh, well, I guess what I’m getting at here is that he wanted to get your number.”

“Ah.”

“And, and I mean. I don’t want you to think, I mean, we’ve never really. We don’t really talk usually, Scully and so I mean-“

“Mulder-“

“No, hear me out here, if you want to give Jake the Bartender your number all I’m saying is-“

“Mulder-“

“All I’m saying is I wouldn’t be happy, but I’m not going to hold it against you Scully. He’s a great guy, and he’s good-looking, and for once he doesn’t have buck teeth-“

“Mulder-“

“And we’ve never really talked about whether or not we’re a thing so-“

“JESUS MULDER. Shut. Up.”

“Okay... So uh, you’re just gonna walk out?”

“For God’s sake Mulder, I’ll see you tonight.”

“Oh. So… hey Scully! Are you saying this is a thing? Because I gotta tell you. I’m not exactly upset if it is. Jake was right about one thing.”

“Alright. I’ll bite. What was Jake right about?”

“You DEFINITELY don’t need to be eating those tiny ass salads and tofu burgers and those non-fat Tofutti rice whatever the hell that crap was. All I’m saying is… if this IS a thing, with us, you know uh, you and me, is I’m a pretty luck…… Scully what are you   
do-mpfhp…..”

“…”

“Uh… Scully. What was that for?”

“The Tofutti rice dream-sickle, Mulder. You once told me the air in your mouth tasted better. I decided to find out. Anyway, Hank’s, 8 tonight, I’ll see you there.”

“Al-alright… So. You’re saying we’re a thing… right? Scully? Hey, Scully?”

The End.


End file.
